Mexican Lexicon: Welcome

Dear readers,

Last summer, you read, in some sixty installments, of our journey from the divided regions of Kashmir to the newly annexed states of the European Union in the Letter from Stan:

Following a beaurocratic marathon vis-a-vis the visa fee, Mike was jam-packed from Jammu and Andy and I arrived in Pakistan and went in search of the bus to the apricots in Hunza only to rush from peak to get an appendectomy, with the selfless assistance of Yaqoob and Gilgit's Medina Guesthouse. With things not going to plan, Andy and I took a detour to the UK, while the charms of a fashion exporter in Dehli named Bimal got Mike out of India and united with Lowri in Kyrgyzstan. With me Aerofloated back out we headed for the Tajik border and into the Oblast from the past to arrive in Murghab at midnight. Taking a ridge too far we yurted it up before returning to the road where delays gave us cause to blame Canadia and our eventual ride took us, via a wedding with sherry, chips and a monobrow bride, to the house of Dr Khorog whose estate also hosted a sneak peak and a prophet. From here we toured the Wakhan, Baby!, and made for re-union with Andy in Monday's town, Dushanbe, and onward on the golden road to Samarqand over crossing of contrasts by train through Russia to Moscow, police cell, St. Petersburg and the battle of the beards, Tallinn and STANstead.

This summer, read on as we head south of the border to deliver the extended postcard that is the Mexican Lexicon.

Route from Stan

See the route in Google Earth:

Route from Stan

Shots from Stan

The photographs are drippling slowly on to the internet now and a selection of our earlier ones is now showing: Shots from Stan.

We'll let you know as more appear, but for now enjoy.

South Asia Earthquake

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Hello from Yaqoob

Dear friend,

Assalamu alaikum. I received your letter safely and I am so happy about your remembering. Hopefully you will remember me like this in future. I was waiting for your letter because I wanted to know about the Andy's health condition. So your letter makes me quite satisfied about that. How is Andy now? Inform me about his health and I wish for his good health.

Thanks a lot for your well wishes in your letter. Everything here we can find by postal address safely. Don't worry about it. Wish that I will be able to see your visited pictures soon and thanks for that in advance.

I am also happy that you have recommended Pakistan for tourism and inviting the people to come to Pakistan. You are right that there is very bad impression about Pakistan in European countries, but this is because of media propaganda and people trust that. I also accept that we have still some internal and external problems but inshallah slowly all these kind of problems will be improved and will go on the right path.

I wish that in all the world will be peace. For that I pray to God that He will bring harmony among the different religions. So that all the religions will keep peace and sectarian harmony in all the world. And then all human beings will be able to lead their lives happily and safely around the whole world in a peaceful environment.

I appreciate too your views about Madina Guest House. I spent all my income on the improvement of this guest house for tourism. Through this guest house I want to develop the tourism not only in Northern Areas but also in the whole of Pakistan and other parts of the world. For that I pray to God that He will give me courage to develop tourism.

I am starting the Trek and Tour Company next year. For that I want help from my foreigner friends. I hope that you will help me in this way. The company name is Madina Guides.

You are always and any time welcome in Madina guest house with your family and friends. It is your home. Thanks once again for your good views and wishes about my country and particularly my guest house. Pay my regards to your family and friends. And also best wishes for Andy and his family. God bless all of the world.

See you again Inshallah.

with regards.

Your Sincerely,

M.Yaqoob

And finally...

...What you've all been waiting for! The one thing keeping you going these past few weeks, the constant pull on the back of your mind, what you where looking for while rummaging through our 60 odd posts....The results to the beard competition!

The final round took place in St.Petersburg on a man-made beach outside a fortress (the name of which I have momentarily forgotten, but I can tell you that it's reddish and inside there is a church with a ridiculously tall gold spire). Lucy and I took our seats on the panel on a piece of drift wood and the three eager competitors sat in a nice little line facing us.

The judging consisted of three parts - accessorising, walking the cat walk and beard fondling.

Contestant no.1 (Mr Andrew Daynes) was the first to take the stage. The beard admittedly was quite large, however the attention of the judges was drawn to his ludicrous idea of accesorising and original, but slightly dubious, idea of cat-walk walking. The beard fondling on the other hand was wonderfully done and very affectionate - it's always good to see a man who loves his beard.

Contestant no.2 (Sir M. Pushkin Pye) took quite a different approach to the presentation of the beard. His accesorising was minimal and functional with only a pen tidily kept in his beard (which was later used to sign a document a la KBG office portrait). The walk was again in a minimalist style, but clearly decipted the gait of a hard working office man. Pye then chose to do the original "looking into the distance while thinking hard" fondle of the beard, which did not show much imagination, but what paticularly apt for this presentation.

Contestant no.3 (Mr P J Burgon) took a brave step into the unknown with his surreal presentation of a naturally stylish beard. His whole set lasted less than a minute. The accesorising consisted of a few aptly placed twigs. He stood up and mimed a Laurel and hardy "A ha", sneakily working in a slight fondle of the beard and then walked away with a very plain gait.

The judging was hard because each contestant naturally exceeded in their own niche. This said, the judges felt that the Annual Beard International Growth competition should be taken seriously. Contestant no.1 or 3 possibly took the presentation too far. Not only did contestant no.2 show respect to his beard and the competition, but the judges felt that his use of the beard as a pen holder showed initiative and has taken the competition to another level. For these reasons, the first prize of our respect for at least a month went to Contestant no.2, Sir M Pushkin Pye. The other two had joint second (no prize).

A note to armchair travellers out there

For a chance to sample some of our route - admittedly in reverse - from the comfort of your own home, press the relevant remote buttons to display BBC 4 this Thursday (22 September) at 7:05 pm and travel four days in 55 minutes: Great Railway Journeys - St Petersburg to Tashkent